Walking has helped me cope

I was happy on 13 September when waxy model teeth were placed in my mouth. I knew surgery had to be scheduled to cut away scar tissue before finishing the teeth and I KNEW this would take ages even to be BOOKED, but I left that appointment feeling upbeat.

The prosthodontist said he understood how good it must have felt to have my lip pushed out (after 8 years of paralysis!)

A casual remark that he’d talk to the max fax staff about the op made me feel nervous. What if he forgot? What if it took him ages to explain what I needed from the max fax team? If the surgery wasn’t arranged soon, I definitely wouldn’t have teeth for the 2nd Christmas in a row.

For various reasons I knew that there were other patients like me – I wanted to be reasonable – so I decided to give them 4 weeks before ringing the coordinator.

The upshot was that no progress had been made on my case and the staff member suggested I write her an email outlining my discomfort and concerns. To ring her in a couple of weeks.

I’ve been told over and over again that I should have been the squeaky wheel which makes me feel as if it is my fault. (I’m good at feeling guilty.)

I would advise OTHER people to advocate strongly for themselves or their family member but I was treading a very careful path with the specialist dentistry department where I was lucky to get implants. Where I knew I was a supremely tricky case. Where each appointment was so intense, there wasn’t much time for questions.

What cut me to the quick after a year of dealing with an almost toothless mouth and a sinking lower left lip which was increasing my dribbling and affecting my speech, with on/off all day pain, was a remark from a hairdresser whom I have seen occasionally over the last 12 months. I told her I wanted to keep my mask on because I had no teeth.

“It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?” she said. Suddenly the full force of my condition hit me!!! I knew it would be a lot longer yet. That simple remark broke open the denial I had allowed to callous itself around my situation.

I did ring the coordinator yesterday and yes there has been some progress “because of my email”. I’m pencilled in for late November with the possibility of an earlier appointment if there are cancellations.

I’m easily pleased so I took that as a win. I’ve never asked what the surgery will be but there was some muttering about a double thickness skin graft from my upper arm to cover the part of my inner lip that is tethered to my gum and has grown right over one of my implant caps.

A tricky little surgery. I just have to proceed in hope. “It’s been a long time.”