Telling my stories

Stigma

Last week one of the most wonderful people in my head and neck cancer Facebook group had a coughing fit in an airport cafe. He has had a laryngectomy. Sometimes the valve in his stoma leaks and that causes coughing.

A young man abused him about his coughing. “You will infect us all.” Such is the unease people around the world feel about Covid.

To me this epitomized the stigma that some head and neck cancer survivors experience. They might be scarred, disfigured or breathe through a hole in their neck. They more than anyone need to be among people because the consequences of treatment can lead to social isolation.

The head and neck cancer patient in question was also on the way to a city hospital for treatment so was particularly vulnerable. Covid stress, even here in New Zealand where there is no community transmission, was not something he needed!

My six years of experience in a head and neck cancer support group have taught me a lot about the needs of laryngectomy patients. Imagine losing your voice box and having to learn to talk through a speech valve in your neck. My own slight disfigurement and disability has given me insight into being different, being disabled.

This is a plea for understanding. Humans are very adaptable and can learn new ways of functioning. But being abused by insensitive outsiders is a blow to that hard won peace of mind.

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