This is my personal opinion only. I’m very picky about the connotations of language probably because of my past life as an English teacher. Fully admit I tend to overthink. I even feel sensitive about calling myself a survivor. I’m a hopeless case!

I’ve written about this before but it’s a perennial issue for cancer patients. The death of ex Deputy PM Michael Cullen was announced in the usual way: “passed away after a long battle with cancer.”

I know from an extract of his memoir that Cullen didn’t believe in “raging against the dying of the light” but accepted that he had terminal cancer and went out in style at the top of his mental powers writing a well reviewed story of his political life. He was a sensible man who didn’t want to wage war against reality. (Accidental metaphor.)

I help run a cancer support page on FB and we have mostly kept away from the battle metaphor but there are groups in which people refer to each other as “warriors”. This is totally understandable and I respect that attitude where people buoy each other up in the struggle to go through cancer treatment and deal with fears of recurrence.

Some of us are hesitant about this though because if you cast cancer survival as a battle, you are framing the people who don’t survive as not just unlucky but somehow lacking some essential element. (Or does it? Maybe not.)

I don’t like it because it doesn’t allow for people to be scared. It assumes we have control over cancer which we don’t and it doesn’t meet my principle of acceptance. I believe that living after cancer is easier if you accept the facts. Your treatment has a certain chance of success – quite a big chance these days – but there is no overall cure for cancer. We can only have the affected cells removed. I suppose my philosophy is expect the worst but hope for the best. Hope and acceptance can exist together.

Those of us like me who think the war/battle/warrior metaphors are “wrong” can be a bit judgmental. Metaphors and idioms are impossible to avoid. I often use the word ‘fight” for any references to dealing with hard things and the Minister for Covid used the term “spread your legs” instead of “stretch your legs” when referring to getting exercise while under Level 4. Words come out of our mouth in long established patterns and sometimes we can use idioms and metaphors wrongly or unwisely without meaning to.

I don’t like being called a warrior or brave because I want to be able to be weak and scared if I need to. I think my successful survival so far is thanks to science, medical care and luck. It wouldn’t have mattered what my attitude was like as long as I turned up for treatment. Yes, I’ve been pretty strong but that’s beside the point.

Everyone is going to draw on imagery and attitudes they find helpful to get them through the horrible aspects of head and neck cancer treatment. I just wish the media would get with the programme and not assume that we’re all going through a “battle with cancer.”

PS, from an article on NZ’s Covid response about our successful messaging in 2020 (Team of five million; Unite against Covid 19) : First, it’s “appeal for the nation to work together to eliminate the virus via empathetic consensus was in contrast to other nations launching their battles on the virus.” An example was Emmanuel Macron who declared that France was “at war” against the virus. Maybe, just maybe, less warlike language has its merits. Totally open for discussion!